Can I do it?

So I am 175 lbs as of today. I have 115 days left til the end of 2013. Can I realistically reach my New Years Resolution Goal weight?

 I started off at 222 lbs and I wanted to lose 100 lbs.

222 lbs-100 lbs=122 lbs

I am now 175 lbs.

175 lbs-122 lbs = 53 lbs.

That means I have to lose 53 lbs in 115 days.

53lbs/115 days=.46 lbs

Which means I have to lose .46 lbs a day!

Or

115 days/7 days in a week=16 weeks
53lbs/16weeks=3.31lbs

I would need to lose 3.31 lbs a week to make my goal.

I think 140 lbs is more realistic. I have been 140 lbs and I felt and looked good.

175lbs-140lbs=35lbs
115 days/35lbs=.3lbs per day
35lbs/16 weeks=2.18lbs per week

That is doable.

Now, I totally realize that life happens and my body probably will not cooperate and stick to my math genius! If I dont fall off the wagon and wonder aimlessly, and my body does not hit any plateaus, and I stay super strict and maintain total dedication for over 115 days...

Ya, not going to happen. So how about I continue doing the best that I can! Stay strong and motivated and be at peace with myself. Celebrate all the good things and live through the bad.

? 180.4 lbs

Four more months to reach me final goal. I said I wanted to lose 100 lbs by the end of 2013, I need to lose another 60 lbs in four months. Is 100 unrealistic? Not before, but now yes. I fell down a few times, so to make up and lose 60 lbs is not going to be healthy. Even if I stay strict for the next four months, and only lose 10 lbs a month, that will bring me to 140 lbs. I have been that weight before and I look gooood. I will have to wait and see what weight my body wants to stay at. This is going to be long term weight loss. I have to be able to maintain whatever I end up at. That is not to say, that when I reach 140, that I cant strive for 120  lbs. It will just be a slower journey. Like 1 lbs a month or something.

I looked up my body type, factoring my height and bone structure. I should really be 150 at the max, and 118 if I had a small frame. Time will tell.

180lbs-120lbs=60 lbs

Good advice February 26, 2013 *192.5

When I first started this blog, I had said I wanted to lose 100 lbs before the new year. That is not going to happen, and I am ok with that. Obviously it is too early in the game to predict much weight I am going to lose, but my body is telling me that it 100 lbs is out.

My original plan was to lose 10 lbs a month, and to reach 120 by the end of December 2013. I am averaging a pound a week, so about 5 lbs a month. Which means 120 lbs wont happen this year. Am I ok with that? Yup. I have never lost weight quick, but I sure know how to gain it quick!

I have lost and gained so much weight in my life, that I have become an expert in losing weight. I have kind of switched my focus in the last month.  I am still on my weight lose journey, but I am also working on not regaining it.

I have an addictive obsessive personality. What that means...I am a nut job! Ha kidding (kind of). Every time I lost weight in the past, I would obsess about the amount of weight I could lose in a week. I would get a number in my head, and I would do anything (I mean anything), to get that to happen. Starving and barfing and exercise. If all that didn't work, I would lose courage and start eating, and yup you guessed it...regain everything.

I got wonderful advice early on in my journey, and it really changed how I look at my weight loss journey. 

The number on the scale, really is just a number
Plateaus are a chance to practice maintanence
Trust my body
Restart your diet the minute you fall off, not tomorrow or after the weekend
No one is perfect
Do not obsess
Use your scale as a tool
Stop doing crazy shit to lose weight
Keep trying
Plan everything, meals, contingency plans, diet and exercise

All of these have reduced my stress a hundred fold. Seriously!

Happy New Years Eve! December 31, 2012 *206.0

Well today is the last day of 2012. I weighed in at 206.0 lbs, a nice even number. It was not a great year for me, but I am happy to say I love the way it is ending. I am so glad that I decided to start my diet at the beginning of December instead of January. I am ending the year on a positive note, and starting 2013 on an excellent one!

I went to a few friends houses (work too) over the last couple of days and there are treats every where. I have not succumbed. I will not either. I know I will have to relax my approach to my diet, but I am not ready right now. I am still at the baby step stages. I am the type of person who if I eat one chip, I eat the whole freakin bag. I am so proud of myself and what I am doing that I dont want to jeopardize my goal.

Will I relax next week? Next month? A few months? I have no idea. I may only relax when I get to my goal weight. I already know what my goal is for 2014. My goal for next year is to maintain my goal weight. That is how sure I am that I am going to reach my goal before the end of 2013. My problem is not losing the weight, though it is very hard and frustrating. It is keeping it off. I have never been able to do that.

That is why my goal next year will be to maintain. I think that will be an even harder goal then losing 100 lbs.

***

I am finally home, after a supper long hard day. We were crazy busy. All the liquor stores in our area closed yesterday, because of the storm. So everyone who didnt shop yesterday, shopped today. All I can say is...WOW!

The manager brought in pizza, I had one piece of the veggie pizza. I had calorie counted it and it came in at 271. Not bad, not great. The only thing is I think it was high in salt. I didnt drink any water today. For one thing, it was too busy to drink water. The other reason...it was too busy to go pee all the time. Speaking of, I should go drink some water with a muscle relaxer. My back is freakin killing me.

Glug glug. Ah!

It is going to be January 1st tomorrow, which means it is time to start the second part of my goal. I have decided that my New Years resolution will be to exercise everyday. Shocking! I don't think I have ever heard of anyone doing that.

***

On...off...move...on...off...move December 11, 2012 *215

I was hungry last night! But I stayed firm and did not snack. I weighed myself this morning and I was 215 lbs on the dot. No matter where I went that is what it read. I was a bit upset but really my weight was all over the place yesterday, it was definite today.

I looked up how to weigh yourself properly and I actually found something!
-Make sure your floor is level..mine isnt so I am going to find a place that is level and mark it!
-make sure you weigh yourself same time, same clothes...blah blah everyone knows that
-make sure you use same scale and same place too
-weigh your self more than once in a week (3)and do an average of the 3 to find out what you lost...yeah...nope


So I researched best weight scale to own and it is the Taylor Electronic, but really anything digital should be good. You can test your own by putting a weight on it. Which I will do asap!

I spent most of the evening looking at other peoples blogs and wow there are alot out there. I then learned to narrow the search by clicking on key words that are on my profile page. Like weight loss. Everyone else who had that listed in their interest section showed up. So I trolled happily all evening.

I also figured out what my BMI is 35.2, and I am considered Obese class II. I should weigh 114 lbs to 155 lbs. and I found it here http://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html

I think I may make this blog about losing 100 lbs in one year. I averaged it out and its 8 lbs per month, two lbs per week. Hmmmm. Am I up for this challenge? I have to add something else. Something that deals with exercise. Hmmmm, total amount of steps per week, miles per week, something. I will have to research that a bit and see what would be logical.

***Ok lots of different answers for that one. Basically though it is 150 minutes a week, which breaks down to 30 minutes a day. Strength training is a lot less. Minimum is twice a week, does not specify amount of time, just that you should do it.

So officially in black and white, drum roll please!!

I am going to lose 100 lbs in one year

I am going to exercise every day for half an hour

It is official because I told my son! Well I told him and he said is this time for real? Yes it is. He thinks 100 is too much. Really he is right, so I may have to rethink the total. My young Yoda, said it is better to weigh more and be hard then thin and out of shape. Sigh, I sure do love him. I am going to ask him to take pics of me every month. Side, front and back and one face shot. I think seeing the results will help me. Oh ya I have to measure myself again. I did a year ago, but since I am restarting I better do it right.

I guess I am kind of cheating, since the end goal has to be reached by end of December 2013, and I am starting now.


Well F*&@ that, I am ready now. I am motivated now. Now is when I am starting!


Weird thought..
100 lbs in one year...365 days in one year
100 divided by 365 = .27 lbs a day
or
12 months in a year
100 divided by 12= 8.33 lbs
Hmmm since I weigh myself everyday, lets go for .27 lbs a day for awhile and see how that goes.

I am fat October 30, 2012

I am fat, I have been fat longer than I have been small. When I look at pictures of when I was smaller or remember myself when I was younger I wish I was that small again. Funny thing was I thought I was fat then. I am as of this morning 216 and change. When I first started thinking I was fat I was probably 16... AND I was only 130 lbs! What the hell is wrong with that picture? Why did I think I was fat back then?

I knew I was pretty, I actually was scared of being pretty. I went back and forth between wanting to attract boys to being scared of them.  Its only later in life that I figured out that that was a safety mechanism I had.  Was I scared of boys because of my step dad? (talk about that some other day) My absent dad? Again some other day.

I want to loose weight. I have tried and lost weight more times than I can count. Why is that soo hard? I lost over 100 lbs when I was 26. I went from 235  to 135 lbs. How did I do that? I stopped eating. I ate two bowls of cereal in the morning. One was good for me like All Bran. One was a super sugar one like Captain Crunch. Then for lunch I had a package of low fat ham. I would drink orange juice during the day and that would be it until the next day. As I  lost more weight I got more and more excited. I couldnt sleep for being excited and dreaming of what I would look like. I weighed myself a couple of times a day, right after I had a poop. After awhile I could not poop really, thats why I added the orange juice. If I went to sleep on my stomach my hips would bruise. I loved that. I started getting a bruise from where my big mens watch rested. Oh my collar bones started to show, I thought I started to fly. I started having a habit of rubbing my finger over those bones. Over and over.

Well needless to say that didnt last. I reached my goal, wanted to get thinner. Started going on no food days, or all fruit days. Then I started to puke. Yup I started puking everyday. I lived a few houses from where I worked, so I could go home to puke. I wasnt even binging, I would eat something like a piece of cheese. Well that couldnt stay in there! So out it came. You cant puke easily without lots of water in your stomach, for me at least. So you drink water as you eat so it comes up easy. When I puked it was like a huge release. Ahhhh.

So anyways, I decided to do a daily journal that could be both private and public. Private in the sense none of my family and friends would read this. Public to anyone else who happened to come across it. I dont expect anyone to read this.

I want to fix myself. I want to stop being depressed. I want to stop being fat. I want to have a boyfriend. I want someone to love me, and I want to love someone. I want to be accountable to someone about my weight loss. Someone other than me. I want to write it down in black and white so that I cant lie to myself anymore. I want to weigh myself everyday and come here and write it down, so I can see it.

I want to write about my life, try to figure things out. I want to get mad about it and cry about it and whine about it.

I feel like a fake. Maybe because I spend so much time lying to myself so much. I am ok, No Im not.