Plateau vs Maintenance October 5, 2013 172.2

Once again, I am practicing maintenance. When is it considered a plateau? When your weight stays the same for a week? A month? I hate it. It is so easy to say f&*k it!

When I first hit one of these, I got pretty upset and depressed. It is hard to keep your momentum when you are stuck at park.

Then one day Diane from Fit to the Finish, suggested that I look at it as maintenance.

That little word twist in the brain is enough for me to keep going strong.

Te he he he! September 1, 2013 177.2 lbs

I weighed in at 177 today!!!! Yippee!

So after reading a couple of different posts from great bloggers (Diane from Fit to the Finish, and Tanvee Life as I know it). I have decided to do a restart/mini goal each month. I already kind of do that, but I am going to make it an official part of my plan.

My mini goal for last month was to get under 180 lbs so that I was not considered obese and more likely to get approved for the boob job. I may or may not be approved. That is now out of my hands. I will get the boob remake either way. Not sure how, but it will happen. I am too young to have breast that look like this.

Its funny though. I didn't want to lose too much weight before I saw the doctor, because of course my boobs would get smaller. Now that obstacle is over, let the fun begin.

My goal for this month is to reach 170 lbs, and add some exercise plan in there. 

Giving up is not an option January 31, 2013 *197.7

I have been feeling a little down (not giving up!) for the past couple of weeks. Partly because of the my weight staying stuck in one spot. The other would be my life away from the blogosphere (4 freakin animals and one teenager, in my 625 sq. ft. house!). I know most everyone suffers from the same thing every now and then...blah blah. 

Someone left me an amazing comment on my Fixing Me : Gosh darn it! January 29, 2013 *199.0 post. It hit home in such a profound way, that it left me reeling! Here is the exact comment:
"I learned to look at plateaus like a practice for maintenance. Keep doing what you know you should and the scale will begin to move again!" This concept may seem simple, or it may not hit you the same way as it did me.

One of my biggest concerns is that I will gain all my weight back after I have lost it all. If I learn to look at my plateaus as practice then...WOW! To me this is brilliant, and just what I needed to hear.

I hate to sound like I am brown nosing, or playing it up, but I have to say one of the blogs that affects me the most in my journey has to be hands down Fit to the Finish. I read her  (Diane's) posts and they speak to me. Looking at things the same way all my life has not helped me lose weight. I take her posts and try to see my behaviors/actions/thoughts/ activities in a new way. Then take that information and change my behaviors/actions/thoughts/ activities to reflect that.

Well, I am off to work.

Birth of my Goal January 22, 2013 *200.00

 A few months ago, I decided I needed to get back on the diet track. I wanted to be accountable to more than just myself. So I decided to rejoin WW. I walked out after they wanted me to pay 60 bucks to rejoin, not including the 18 dollars per week! Forget that. I went home and started thinking about what I really wanted.

I wanted a New Years Resolution that would change my life
I wanted to lose weight
I wanted to write a food diary to monitor what I ate
I wanted to weigh myself daily so I could learn more about my body
I wanted to write a daily diary
I wanted to read about other people going through the same things as I was
I wanted to organize my life
I wanted to read articles that make me think
I wanted to be held accountable
I wanted to not be alone in my struggles

I started to do some research. How do I go about tying all of these ideas together? Hmmm. I keyed in online diary and my blog was born!  Now my NYR. I wrote down a list of all the things I wanted to fix/change/didn't like about myself.

I was fat
I was out of shape
I smoked
I ate too much
I never went out
I had no energy
I never had anything nice to say about myself
I am single
I am isolated (within myself)
I am not happy
I am sad that my son is embarrassed to be seen with me

What single thing could I change about myself that would make the most difference? Lose weight! Nearly everything led back to being overweight. Ok so I found out my root problem. I know I am a genius. What was next?

A goal. I decided to think big (pun intended). I want to lose 100 lbs by end of 2013. Wow! Lofty goal. What did I have to do to get there? Well pretty much everything.

I quit smoking
I stopped eating every single minute
I started counting all my calories My Fitness Pal (I am madijo41 if you want to friend)
I started to research what I should eat
I wrote and read positive thoughts (my blog)
I started to plan my meals Fit to the Finish
I thought of ways to add more and more veggies in my day
I started to cut back on my pills (anti depressants and social anxiety)
I drank lots and lots of water
I cut out pop (at son's request)
I cut out sugar/salt (again at son's request)
I found a blog on clean eating 100 days of real food
I started to exercise Girl Heroes
I found recipes to make that were good for me (too many to list)
I started to walk or exercise every day (NYR)
I started to weigh myself every day (Scale Obsession Page)

 I am now 21 lbs down, with a total of 50+ lost (since 2011).  Only 80 more to go.

A Step back January 18, 2013 *201.6

One step forward...two steps back

Well I weighed in at 201.6 lbs today. I finally figured out why too. It was water weight I lost. I have not been drinking my water while Aunt Flo has been visiting. So really I did not make my 200 lbs goal yet. I will by the end of the week though. No worries (fingers and toes crossed).

I follow alot of different blogs and I read every single one. I have found out I am not alone in my struggle. I am not the only one out there who is lonely. I am not the only one has failed over and over again. I read about people who are interesting, who teach me things, who make me think about why I do things. For example; Diane from Fit to the Finish, wrote about stumbles on her post today Stumbles can really trip you up.  That really made me think. It is not a new concept, but  the topic came at the perfect time for me. I have always failed because I have always given up when I stumble. I cant continue to fail.

I have been stepping out of my comfort zone lately when it comes to my meals. I usually make the exact same breakfast every morning, and a small rotating group of meals for lunch and supper. I know what my danger foods are and I stay away from them with a religious zeal. I don't mind eating the same meals all the time at all. It makes me feel safe/secure and in control.

The last week or so, I have come to realize a couple of truths. So what is the truth? I know I will make it this time. I have the willpower to continue to the very end.  There is no end! I am changing my life. I have to make permanent changes. Can I realistically eat the same food for the rest of my life? Nope!!! Can I stay away from all my danger foods? Actually yes I think I can. So what is a happy medium? Try different foods, try different recipes that are not connected in my mind to eating while I am depressed.

My danger foods haunt me. Thankfully it is a very small list. My go to foods when I am depressed are not good for me mentally or physically. Pasta, like macaroni and tomatoes, K.D., or spaghetti. I have never been able to eat one serving of this. EVER! I actually don't have the same problem with rice noodles, go figure. Chips are the other danger food. I got through university by eating a large bag of BBQ Ruffle chips. Every single day. I actually gave those up a few years ago and have never had another one. Cereal. I could eat a box of cereal a day. Looking at this list objectively, I know I can stay away from these foods.

Back on topic...I have been trying different recipes, changing up my meals and I am controlling myself. I don't feel as in control, but I am having fun trying to find good food choices.

For example tonight I made Pizza. I made it out of Flat out Thin Crust Artisans Bread. 150 cals. Then the pizza sauce and  a serving of  skim Mozza with a serving of chicken bacon. It all came to 333 cals. I will have to work on making my own Pizza sauce though. The salt content in Catelli  was out of this world, (I now average 1500 mg or less everyday). My son loved it, which is a plus. I was going to take a picture, but I ate all before I got to it.

I also made my son some garlic bread, bad idea. I snacked on a bite here and there. Grrr.  I added some cheat calories to make sure that I was honest about what my count was for the day. I do not and will not lie about what I eat. That way leads to failure!!! Anyhoo...I went for a super brisk walk for 30 minutes to make up for the cheats. It was -17 with a -28 windchill. Brrrr.