Shaking thing up! September 29, 2013 173

I have been overeating a bit the last couple of days. By over eating, I mean eating from 1500 to 2000 cals a day not my usual 1200. No weight loss this week. My ghost period is lurking and I am craving fooooood!

I was never satisfied, always hungry, thinking about foooood. I looked at my calender and there was my explanation. My period. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I dont. Either way when it comes near I gain a few pounds (strict diet or not), and I become a hungry stomach.

In the past, this is where I usually derailed. I am always (for the foreseeable future), going to go through this every month. So I need a plan to deal with Aunt Flo.

This is what I came up with:

Increase my calories during the first couple of days
Increase my exercise to help nullify the extra calories
Except that my scale will show a weight increase (water)
Take this time to maintain/de-stress from diet
Let this go on for only 1-2 days!!
Try some new recipes

So far so good.

I made a couple of things from Chocolate Covered Katie . Wow!!! is all I can say. Delish. She makes veggie breakfast/desserts that are no/low sugar,  but a little higher in cals than I can eat regularly.

Then by chance I made some Oatmeal pancakes from The Biggest Loser, and they are gonna become my breakfast of choice. I will just make a large batch and cook as needed. Nom nom nom

Happy Birthday to Me!! September 18, 2013 172

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to ME!

Peace Lily

I turned 4? yesterday! My mom wanted to buy me some clothes, but I want to wait til Christmas. So she bought me a Peace Lily plant instead. It is huge! I absolutely adore it!

I ended up spending nearly the whole day with her. Shopping for my plant, and visiting memere (my grandmother), then hanging at her house. It was while we were there she wanted me to try on some old clothes that I had left there when I was younger. I didnt want to, because I was sure everything would be too small. UGH! Anyhoo...I tried them on...and they fit, or were too BIG!

R. and I went over for super and it was nice and relaxing evening.  My mom is so proud of what I have done so far that she supports my diet in any and every way that she can. She got me a veggie pizza (2 small slices) and a chocolate cupcake for my birthday cake. She also bought no sugar ice cream. How awesome is she! I ended up being sick as a dog later though. My body is so not used to any fatty food that it did not react well. I figure that is a good thing. Its like a built in seat belt or something. It not half as fun to eat something fattily delish if you are going to be sick after!

So I weighed myself this morning, and I came in at 172. Yippee! I should be able to make my goal of 170 before the end of the month. Not sure though since I should be having a period soon. That always makes things a little interesting.

Oh! Nearly forgot...R. bought me a pair of Chuck Taylors for my birthday. I think my son having a job ROCKS!

Yahooo/UGH! August 26, 2013 179.4

Yahoo and Ugh! my period started. Yahoo that I dont have to wait around for it, Ugh...well cause my period started.

My countdown to my Boob doctor is on. 5 days til the big unveiling (my boobs), then I am another waiting list (hopefully), to get my reduction.

My other big worry is how unbelievably lazy, tired I am. I hope that with my period showing up, my body will pick up a bit. Just to make sure I am going to add a little more carb, and a little less protein. 

Tired...sigh... August 25, 2013 *179.4

My weight is slowly coming off. SLOWLY.....

I feel tired alot though. I am either eating something I shouldnt, or missing something I should. I follow the food guide, so I try to have a protein, carb, veggie/fruit at each meal.  I feel like I am dragging myself though the day until I can collapse in bed at night.

I wonder if this is tied to my period problems. I noticed this the very first time I missed my period last year. I never ever ever miss my period. Never. Not since the very first one. I was regular as clockwork. Every 21 days I would have my period for exactly 5 days. Then 21 days later go through it all over again.

The first time I did not have my period was pretty freaky. I knew I was not preggers (no man in my life). Was I dying? Nah. Day 22 was like...what?  Then I started to feel more and more tired. I gained something like 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I didnt want to move from my bed. Sleeep was allll I wanted to do.  I did not have my period for 45 days!! Holy crap!

My doc put me on the pill again, but that did not work out for me either. So here I am over a year later, and I am still going through irratic periods. I have noticed that I do get really tired during the no period months. Hmmm. Weird.

My question is why? Why the weight gain, the tired lazy feelings?

Finally, again! August 23, 2013 179.8

I just relearned or remembered something weird about my body. Here goes...

The day before my period I lose a few pounds. I get really excited thinking I have had a break through. Then I gain it all back and have to lose it all again. Through my scale obsession recording, I finally saw the pattern and stopped getting upset with myself (usually).

I would lose some water weight before my period, (why?) then gain it all back once my period was over.

Its confusing now that I am not having my period every month, but I am having the same symptoms. Weird I know.

I will have to keep an eye on that, and see if my weight fluctuations match up with my normal period cycle.

I fleshed out my goal for 2014. I want to maintain my weight loss. That has stayed the same. I want to add a physical aspect. Like run a 5k, or join Cross Fit, or something else that is pretty big. I will have to think on this.

Seriously? August 16, 2013 *182.0

I find it so frustrating that I am following my diet perfectly, and my scale is not falling on board properly! My weight has been fluctuating so much that it is crazy. I figure this goes back to my theory on my perimenopause journey. I think even though I am not bleeding, I am still getting all the symptoms. I figure I am going through one of my ghost periods right now. How to document and research this? Hmmm.

OMG!  I just looked up ghost period by chance, and there is a name for what I am going through. Its
called....Phantom Periods!

Pre Menopausal? August 12, 2013 *181.0

My periods have been out of whack for over a year now. Sometimes I go over 2 months without a period. I think I still bloat, and get cranky right around the time I should be having my period too. I am going to keep  a record to see if I am right.

To keep things interesting sometimes I only go 2 weeks in between periods. Why? Because life just not fun enough!

I survived March Break! March 12, 2013 *189.2

Ack! I survived March Break. My son hijacked my (our) computer for the whole week, so I have not kept in touch with anything or anyone. Sorry. I also lived through my period during the same time. Not only that...I did all this...and lost weight!

I maybe out of touch for a couple more days, but I am alive and doing great.

Holy crap on toast! January 19, 2013 *201.00

Gee wiz! I weighed in at 201.0 lbs. I had to take my mini goal achieved off my home page. Thank goodness I had not used my goal award yet. I will reserve that til I have been at 200 lbs a couple of days. I know it is Aunt Flo that is screwing up with my scale. She is such an evil Bee-otch!


Anyhoo...I am off today. That has not happened in a very long time. I think I may go watch The Hobbit! Love me some Hobbits. I re-read the LoTR series every year. I made my kid dress up as Dumbledor...just kidding...as Gandolf, and the next year as Frodo. After that he was Captain Jack Sparrow, and Harry Potter. When I could not force him into the costumes I wanted, I started naming my pets after my favorite characters.

I had Frodo and Samwise love birds. I had a cat named Harry. I called one of my dogs Bronx, (Gargoyles the cartoon), cause I saved him from the bad streets. I tried to name my English Mastiff Atticus, but no one knew who that was. Sad! Then I wanted to call him Wolfgar, then Kitty. Can you see me calling my 200 lbs puppy... Here Kitty Kitty!

***

 Well well well!  Two pieces of good news. Went to the movies AND I did not eat any junk food! I am actually way under (too much under) my daily allotment. We went to the 4 o'clock show. Too early for supper and it was a three hour movie. By the time we got home and finished all our doggie walk/driveway shoveling it was too late for supper.

Its 9:30 at night and I follow the rule of no eating after 6 pm if at all logically possible. I am not starving and I don't feel deprived so I will let it be for tonight. If it happens again, I will just have to plan better. I don't go out often so I don't think it will be a problem.

January 15, 2013 *203

I weighed in at 203 lbs today. Like I said...the countdown is on. I cant stress how much I am learning about my body and my moods. Simply by paying attention and writing down everything I eat and weighing myself everyday. Most of the stuff I already knew, but it was more nebulous. Now I have concrete evidence, and it will only get better and more detailed as time goes on.

I remember my last failed diet attempt. I lost it because I just kept on gaining weight, or so I thought. I weighed myself every week. Never really noticed any big changes. So imagine if I was bloated on my weigh in day. Or the week before my period (like this week), or any number of reasons  why you weigh more one day then the next.

I admit I am more dedicated (strict?) this time. I am an emotional eater, and anytime I weighed myself and didn't see a difference, or had a weight gain, that day would become my cheat day. So the rollercoaster would begin.

I don't do cheat days now. I don't have the right mind set for them. I am an all or nothing kind of gal. If I start of with a cheat in the morning, by night I will have eaten a cow!

I plan my meals  using myfitnesspal. I plan my week of meals using a menu planner. I count everything that goes into my mouth...no  lying or fudging about anything. Then I just follow my diet.

Some days are harder then others. Sometimes I want food food food, then some times I am like...meh. I like the  calorie shifting  theory, so I work that into my plan. If I dont feel like eating much or I am not walking around like a famine victim, then that will be one of my low calorie days. Yesterday was one of my higher calorie days. It keeps my body from getting used to the diet and hopefully will not stutter to a plateau.

***

Today ended up being a gorgeous day outside. I think it was only -7, and hardly any breeze. Perfect day for a walk, so that is what I did.

***

I gotta go pick up my mom's dog Peanut, who is going to live with me for 3 months.  The next week will probably be a little stressful. I already know Peanut and Milo get along, but they never stop playing. Sigh...I love my quiet time. I think my next blog post with be about Peanut.

Countdown is on January 12, 2013 *202.6

Ok, so I weighed in at 202.6 lbs today.

I have been pretty hungry the last day or so, and today was a chocolate kind of day. I resisted, but I was surrounded with left over Christmas chocolate at work! Now that I think about it, I got teary eyed at work yesterday, so I think the countdown to my period is on.

I used to be exactly 30 days in between my periods. Then I started on the pill just before I turned 15 or 16 years old. I used to get so sick and faint, that the doctor put me on them to help. It really did help. I took them religiously and my cycle changed to every 21 days. Crap! Then came my son, then back on the pills. When I turned 35 my Doctor wanted me to try something new, which did not work out. I soon stopped taking the pill all together.

A couple of years ago, my periods started going completely wonky. I figure I am pre pre menopausal. I never really know when my period is coming. It could be 15/21/30/45 days  and once it was 65 days! Eeek! I gained 15 lbs during the 65 day fiasco. Never! Again!

What will be interesting now, is that I am keeping a pretty cool record of my daily weight fluctuations. I think with the help of my scale obsession page I will be able to see if there is a repeat of last month. It will help me figure out why I get freakishly hungry sometimes, why I get TMI and when I start to bloat with water weight.

The red plague is here! December 21, 2012 *211.2

I was right, I started the day with cramps and you guessed it...my F'n period. I was soo hungry last night, and the chocolate in the countdown calender  was calling me by name. I knew something was coming. I stayed true though and did not go over my cals. Yippeee me.

I dont know what I weigh yet. It can go one of two ways. One I lost some of my water weight, or I gained more water weight. I want to lay in bed for a bit more before I find out. Let the suspense build. Not really, I am just being lazy, the house is cold. I dont want to to get up, strip and weigh myself until I have to get ready for work.

Its almost Christmas, so today will be crazy busy at work. Uhg...nothing like being on the rag and having to work hard AND being on a diet. My co workers may die, because I am staying away from chocolate.

***

Damn it all...211.2 lbs. I guess not a weight loss day. Gotta go get ready for work.

***

Holy crap I am tired. Long day, and everything is sore. It was not a heavy lifting day, or a running around day, was more a, stand all day in one spot kind of day.

My clothes felt snug today, so I am definitely bloated. Sigh...I wish losing weight was easier.

***

F'n Period...grrr November 26, 2012 *217

So I started my freakin period this morning! Ug. Feel like crap. Ate some chips today. My theory is you are legally bound to eat junk on your period. If you dont you might kill somebody. So I weighed myself this morning and I came in at 217 and change. Blah.

Went shopping for my birthday present today with my mom. It was back in September, but I could not find or decide what I wanted. Finally decided on an electric fireplace. Went to Walmart and got that and a carpet to put on my living room floor. I also went to the Dollar Store (not really a dollar anymore). I got some candles and candle stuff to put in my new and improved living room. I also started getting Christmas stuff. I am going to decorate this year. I have not for awhile.

I cant put up a Christmas tree, because my huge dog will eat it or knock it over with his deathly tail. I decided to hang my ornaments from the ceiling, I love Christmas lights so I figure I am going to go kind of crazy with that shit too, I love the smell of pines so I might buy some pine branches, group them together and hang them from a corner. That might be my special tree. I can just see it now. Lovely.

This is all part of my master plan.  Like I said I decided to fix myself and to do that I decided to fix my house. I thought that I could make my house look as nice as I could afford then I would start to feel better about certain aspects of my life. I would start cleaning and respecting my house more. So my family got on board. My Aunt gave me a living room set that was just being stored in her basement. It looks great! I painted or retouched most of the paint, and have been cleaning everyday.

It makes me get up at a reasonable time in the morning to clean.  Then I walk the dog so I can fulfill my other promise to myself. I didnt walk today, but I did walk yesterday and it was a very nice walk in the dark (my favorite time, because no one can see me).

I think I may take a picture of my living room and post it.