Plateau vs Maintenance October 5, 2013 172.2

Once again, I am practicing maintenance. When is it considered a plateau? When your weight stays the same for a week? A month? I hate it. It is so easy to say f&*k it!

When I first hit one of these, I got pretty upset and depressed. It is hard to keep your momentum when you are stuck at park.

Then one day Diane from Fit to the Finish, suggested that I look at it as maintenance.

That little word twist in the brain is enough for me to keep going strong.

I have a day off! September 10, 2013 173.6

I weighed in at 173.6 today. Yippee! I am chugging along nicely. I know I will probably hit a snag/plateau soon. I am not one to lose weight easy. I hit plateaus often. But like Diane from Fit to the Finish wrote me once... "plateaus are like practicing maintenance."  I think that is one of the biggest reasons why I have made it this far.

Any other time I have hit a plateau, I have lost my courage to continue. Now I look at it like a chance to maintain. I am not going to gain my weight back. I think that maintaining is going to be harder than losing.

When you are dieting you are on a time frame. There is an end goal. You wont be on a diet forever. You stay motivated to continue when you get to fit into smaller clothes. When you reach your goal, the other half of your journey continues and this is where I have always failed.

Maintaining is forever, with no end in site.

We practice for everything else in life, why not maintenance?

I am still alive and going strong May 15, 2013 * 179.8 lbs

I am so Happy

I am under 180 lbs! 

When I started this journey, one of my biggest fears was that I would regain my weight. I am not as afraid anymore. These past few months I have been losing and maintaining my weight. I am not going crazy and obsessing about it either (first time for everything)!

I have reached a weight that I am comfortable with and I don't feel like people are staring at the fat chick anymore. When I look in the mirror,  I see the pretty girl I used to be.
Over the years I have built up quite a stockpile of smaller clothes and I am fitting them all, if not tooo small for some of them. I have been going through all my clothes and ruthlessly getting rid off all the big clothes. I cant wait til I have to get rid of my smaller clothes.

I go out every now and then, and I take the time to make good food choices. If the restaurant does not have them, I don't go. Period.  I have made my diet apart of my life. It truly is not a diet anymore. I am making it a part of the rest of my life kind of diet.

The reason I am making it? Two reasons. 1.   If you falter, restart right away. Not tomorrow, not Monday...right away. 2. When I am not losing, I am practicing maintenance. I do not have plateaus. I have real life maintenance training. That's why I am not afraid anymore. (Thanks Diane).

Good advice February 26, 2013 *192.5

When I first started this blog, I had said I wanted to lose 100 lbs before the new year. That is not going to happen, and I am ok with that. Obviously it is too early in the game to predict much weight I am going to lose, but my body is telling me that it 100 lbs is out.

My original plan was to lose 10 lbs a month, and to reach 120 by the end of December 2013. I am averaging a pound a week, so about 5 lbs a month. Which means 120 lbs wont happen this year. Am I ok with that? Yup. I have never lost weight quick, but I sure know how to gain it quick!

I have lost and gained so much weight in my life, that I have become an expert in losing weight. I have kind of switched my focus in the last month.  I am still on my weight lose journey, but I am also working on not regaining it.

I have an addictive obsessive personality. What that means...I am a nut job! Ha kidding (kind of). Every time I lost weight in the past, I would obsess about the amount of weight I could lose in a week. I would get a number in my head, and I would do anything (I mean anything), to get that to happen. Starving and barfing and exercise. If all that didn't work, I would lose courage and start eating, and yup you guessed it...regain everything.

I got wonderful advice early on in my journey, and it really changed how I look at my weight loss journey. 

The number on the scale, really is just a number
Plateaus are a chance to practice maintanence
Trust my body
Restart your diet the minute you fall off, not tomorrow or after the weekend
No one is perfect
Do not obsess
Use your scale as a tool
Stop doing crazy shit to lose weight
Keep trying
Plan everything, meals, contingency plans, diet and exercise

All of these have reduced my stress a hundred fold. Seriously!

Flower in Concret

'Nature Will Find A Way'

This is how I feel today, which is a huge improvement. Something small and fragile, breaking and splitting through concrete.

I have stayed true to my diet, almost clinging to the challenge of keeping on my path. It has become my light at the end of the tunnel.

I have not lost any weight the last little while. I am 'maintaining', and it is calming my anxiety about regaining my weight after I have completed my weight loss journey.

I realize I have put too much pressure on myself to lose 100 lbs by the end of 2013. I have never lost weight easily. Weight has never fallen off like magic. I stay true to my diet, never cheat, do exercises, but I usually only lose 1-3 lbs a month. For me to reach my goal, I would have to lose an average of 2.5 lbs a week.

To remove some of my stress, I have given up on the goal of reaching 120 lbs by the end of 2013. I am going to lose weight in a slow (sigh) steady manner (sigh). I will reach my goal, when ever I reach it. I am already 60 lbs down from my highest weight, and  still have 76 lbs to lose. I think I may also rethink my goal of 120 lbs. Is it realistic for my height and age? I know I can reach it, but is it something I can comfortably reach and importantly, maintain.

Does this mean I am giving up? Does this mean I am lowering my standards because I am passing through a dark time? I don't think so. I feel good about this decision. My will power feels rejuvenated.

Life has never been easy for me, but at least I am here. I have a beautiful son, though he is driving me crazy (pun not intended), at the moment. I have a family who cares for me, though they think I should be able to fix that part of me that causes these feelings. I am not a car that can be fixed.

There is something not right in my head, but I go through it, fight it, fight back and come through the other side. The next time is never easier, but I get better at getting there.





















*I found this picture on this site here

Giving up is not an option January 31, 2013 *197.7

I have been feeling a little down (not giving up!) for the past couple of weeks. Partly because of the my weight staying stuck in one spot. The other would be my life away from the blogosphere (4 freakin animals and one teenager, in my 625 sq. ft. house!). I know most everyone suffers from the same thing every now and then...blah blah. 

Someone left me an amazing comment on my Fixing Me : Gosh darn it! January 29, 2013 *199.0 post. It hit home in such a profound way, that it left me reeling! Here is the exact comment:
"I learned to look at plateaus like a practice for maintenance. Keep doing what you know you should and the scale will begin to move again!" This concept may seem simple, or it may not hit you the same way as it did me.

One of my biggest concerns is that I will gain all my weight back after I have lost it all. If I learn to look at my plateaus as practice then...WOW! To me this is brilliant, and just what I needed to hear.

I hate to sound like I am brown nosing, or playing it up, but I have to say one of the blogs that affects me the most in my journey has to be hands down Fit to the Finish. I read her  (Diane's) posts and they speak to me. Looking at things the same way all my life has not helped me lose weight. I take her posts and try to see my behaviors/actions/thoughts/ activities in a new way. Then take that information and change my behaviors/actions/thoughts/ activities to reflect that.

Well, I am off to work.