Scale obsession

I have not been logging my weight everyday on my Scale Obsession page for awhile. It was so erratic that I decided to not log it. Also, my scale has been at work for the last month.

I will start logging again, because I found it helped to keep a record. My scale is still not showing a difference, but I tried some clothes and halleluiah...they fit!

All the walking has helped, but of course I would like to see a difference in the scale too.

I have decided to try for another 20 lbs. I feel great, but I want more.  I want my outside to match my insides and my head. It really bothered me when I saw myself in a mirror the other day.

I know I have to accept loose skin, and that my body will never look like it should. I figure that if the folds of skin have less fat in them, that the rolls wont be as obvious.

I watched The Biggest Loser a few years ago. One of the guys there had lost a huge amount. He had loose skin, but he had kept at it, and with exercise had made the skin nearly disappear.

My lose skin still has fat in it, so it looks more like rolls then loose skin.

***

I just googled loose skin. I realize that I dont have that big of a problem!

Another beautiful day in the neighborhood 174.6

Doing good on my restart, and I could not be happier about that! I went for a little walk, worked hard at
work and in life is gooood.

I weighed in at 174 today, but I figure that is wrong. Its funny that just by weighing myself everyday, and eating better, I feel more in control of my life.

Good advice February 26, 2013 *192.5

When I first started this blog, I had said I wanted to lose 100 lbs before the new year. That is not going to happen, and I am ok with that. Obviously it is too early in the game to predict much weight I am going to lose, but my body is telling me that it 100 lbs is out.

My original plan was to lose 10 lbs a month, and to reach 120 by the end of December 2013. I am averaging a pound a week, so about 5 lbs a month. Which means 120 lbs wont happen this year. Am I ok with that? Yup. I have never lost weight quick, but I sure know how to gain it quick!

I have lost and gained so much weight in my life, that I have become an expert in losing weight. I have kind of switched my focus in the last month.  I am still on my weight lose journey, but I am also working on not regaining it.

I have an addictive obsessive personality. What that means...I am a nut job! Ha kidding (kind of). Every time I lost weight in the past, I would obsess about the amount of weight I could lose in a week. I would get a number in my head, and I would do anything (I mean anything), to get that to happen. Starving and barfing and exercise. If all that didn't work, I would lose courage and start eating, and yup you guessed it...regain everything.

I got wonderful advice early on in my journey, and it really changed how I look at my weight loss journey. 

The number on the scale, really is just a number
Plateaus are a chance to practice maintanence
Trust my body
Restart your diet the minute you fall off, not tomorrow or after the weekend
No one is perfect
Do not obsess
Use your scale as a tool
Stop doing crazy shit to lose weight
Keep trying
Plan everything, meals, contingency plans, diet and exercise

All of these have reduced my stress a hundred fold. Seriously!

Birth of my Goal January 22, 2013 *200.00

 A few months ago, I decided I needed to get back on the diet track. I wanted to be accountable to more than just myself. So I decided to rejoin WW. I walked out after they wanted me to pay 60 bucks to rejoin, not including the 18 dollars per week! Forget that. I went home and started thinking about what I really wanted.

I wanted a New Years Resolution that would change my life
I wanted to lose weight
I wanted to write a food diary to monitor what I ate
I wanted to weigh myself daily so I could learn more about my body
I wanted to write a daily diary
I wanted to read about other people going through the same things as I was
I wanted to organize my life
I wanted to read articles that make me think
I wanted to be held accountable
I wanted to not be alone in my struggles

I started to do some research. How do I go about tying all of these ideas together? Hmmm. I keyed in online diary and my blog was born!  Now my NYR. I wrote down a list of all the things I wanted to fix/change/didn't like about myself.

I was fat
I was out of shape
I smoked
I ate too much
I never went out
I had no energy
I never had anything nice to say about myself
I am single
I am isolated (within myself)
I am not happy
I am sad that my son is embarrassed to be seen with me

What single thing could I change about myself that would make the most difference? Lose weight! Nearly everything led back to being overweight. Ok so I found out my root problem. I know I am a genius. What was next?

A goal. I decided to think big (pun intended). I want to lose 100 lbs by end of 2013. Wow! Lofty goal. What did I have to do to get there? Well pretty much everything.

I quit smoking
I stopped eating every single minute
I started counting all my calories My Fitness Pal (I am madijo41 if you want to friend)
I started to research what I should eat
I wrote and read positive thoughts (my blog)
I started to plan my meals Fit to the Finish
I thought of ways to add more and more veggies in my day
I started to cut back on my pills (anti depressants and social anxiety)
I drank lots and lots of water
I cut out pop (at son's request)
I cut out sugar/salt (again at son's request)
I found a blog on clean eating 100 days of real food
I started to exercise Girl Heroes
I found recipes to make that were good for me (too many to list)
I started to walk or exercise every day (NYR)
I started to weigh myself every day (Scale Obsession Page)

 I am now 21 lbs down, with a total of 50+ lost (since 2011).  Only 80 more to go.

Brrrrr...it is cold outside! January 21, 2013 *200.2

It is freeeakin cold outside, going down to minus 30!  I usually go walking every night with Milo, that will not happen tonight! I made up for it by making sure I did alot of the hard jobs at work. I knew I would not go for a walk, so I got my work out at work instead.

Sheeesh, I weighed in at 200.2 lbs today. I had to weigh myself earlier than I usually do. It makes a huge difference too. I have found that the earlier in the morning I weigh myself the less weight I will show lost on the scale. My normal routine is to get up, clean the house a bit, take a shower and weigh myself. Today and any other day that I have to weigh myself earlier than usual (work), I notice no change in the scale or an increase. Good to know.

January 15, 2013 *203

I weighed in at 203 lbs today. Like I said...the countdown is on. I cant stress how much I am learning about my body and my moods. Simply by paying attention and writing down everything I eat and weighing myself everyday. Most of the stuff I already knew, but it was more nebulous. Now I have concrete evidence, and it will only get better and more detailed as time goes on.

I remember my last failed diet attempt. I lost it because I just kept on gaining weight, or so I thought. I weighed myself every week. Never really noticed any big changes. So imagine if I was bloated on my weigh in day. Or the week before my period (like this week), or any number of reasons  why you weigh more one day then the next.

I admit I am more dedicated (strict?) this time. I am an emotional eater, and anytime I weighed myself and didn't see a difference, or had a weight gain, that day would become my cheat day. So the rollercoaster would begin.

I don't do cheat days now. I don't have the right mind set for them. I am an all or nothing kind of gal. If I start of with a cheat in the morning, by night I will have eaten a cow!

I plan my meals  using myfitnesspal. I plan my week of meals using a menu planner. I count everything that goes into my mouth...no  lying or fudging about anything. Then I just follow my diet.

Some days are harder then others. Sometimes I want food food food, then some times I am like...meh. I like the  calorie shifting  theory, so I work that into my plan. If I dont feel like eating much or I am not walking around like a famine victim, then that will be one of my low calorie days. Yesterday was one of my higher calorie days. It keeps my body from getting used to the diet and hopefully will not stutter to a plateau.

***

Today ended up being a gorgeous day outside. I think it was only -7, and hardly any breeze. Perfect day for a walk, so that is what I did.

***

I gotta go pick up my mom's dog Peanut, who is going to live with me for 3 months.  The next week will probably be a little stressful. I already know Peanut and Milo get along, but they never stop playing. Sigh...I love my quiet time. I think my next blog post with be about Peanut.

Countdown is on January 12, 2013 *202.6

Ok, so I weighed in at 202.6 lbs today.

I have been pretty hungry the last day or so, and today was a chocolate kind of day. I resisted, but I was surrounded with left over Christmas chocolate at work! Now that I think about it, I got teary eyed at work yesterday, so I think the countdown to my period is on.

I used to be exactly 30 days in between my periods. Then I started on the pill just before I turned 15 or 16 years old. I used to get so sick and faint, that the doctor put me on them to help. It really did help. I took them religiously and my cycle changed to every 21 days. Crap! Then came my son, then back on the pills. When I turned 35 my Doctor wanted me to try something new, which did not work out. I soon stopped taking the pill all together.

A couple of years ago, my periods started going completely wonky. I figure I am pre pre menopausal. I never really know when my period is coming. It could be 15/21/30/45 days  and once it was 65 days! Eeek! I gained 15 lbs during the 65 day fiasco. Never! Again!

What will be interesting now, is that I am keeping a pretty cool record of my daily weight fluctuations. I think with the help of my scale obsession page I will be able to see if there is a repeat of last month. It will help me figure out why I get freakishly hungry sometimes, why I get TMI and when I start to bloat with water weight.

Happy Dance...December 13, 2012 *212.4

Yippeeee! 212.4 on my new scale!!!! I checked with my other scale and it shows almost 2 pounds difference. I will be getting rid of it, because I dont want to play that game.





I am so proud of the effort I am putting in
I can do this
I do not eat at night
I do not eat anything after I have eaten super
I do not pick at left overs (hard)
***
I spent all day yesterday transferring all my info onto a new email address, new blog, new google +, and new picassa.  Sheeesh, just because they did nt like my nick name. I didnt want my real name out there, so I put my nickname as my name. Note to self, dont do that again.

I did great yesterday. I did not over eat, kept to my meal plan. The only real upset I had was that my new scale added on a few pounds. Its like I have to re-lose the same pounds I worked to take off. I took a few pics of myself to show the before and after. Yuk, is all I can say. I will be wearing the same clothes each time so I can see the difference clearly. Unfortunately, the only white shirt I found was wrinkle shitty mess. Next time I will make sure to be more presentable. It is not easy taking pics of yourself... hands free...with a timer. I may post later I dont know.

  I measured my parts and here is the damage

Hips 48
Boobage 45
Waist 42
Thigh 29
Arm 14
Current Weight 212.4
Can only go up from here right?

Its really early in the morning, so I will wait a bit before weighing myself. I am going to use both machines to see how big of a difference there is. I found a pic of fat that helps keep it in perspective though. I lost at least 5 lbs since I started, and this is what it looks like...

I had a hard time believing it, because I dont feel like I have lost that. So I went to look at a 5 lbs of sugar, 5 lbs of potatoes and it is totally real. Or a more accurate example would be  a pound of butter x 5. Holy crap, I am carrying alot of extra weight. No wonder I am tired.

 

You did what! at 2 freakin O' clock morning?! December 12, 2012

I could not sleep last night, and I got up super early today. Why you ask? Cause I was freakin starvin! You know what I did? I did not eat. I was not even tempted to. The force is strong in this one. I even did a couple of crunches and sunny sides.

Its 2 in the morning and I was still not sleeping, so I decided to see where my floor was level. I was on my bathroom floor with a level trying to find the perfect, optimal scale spot!

I weighed myself this morning and it said something like 212 lbs. That was too good to be true, so I proceeded to weigh myself everywhere. Too many fluctuations. I tried my bedroom next. I found the most levelest spot in the house is my room. Off came the clothes and I weighed in at 214 lbs.

***

Sad sad news. Bought a new scale and my it added almost 3 lbs to my weight. :( How sad is that. I am going to keep both for a bit, just to confirm the difference. My new start weight will now be 221 lbs

On...off...move...on...off...move December 11, 2012 *215

I was hungry last night! But I stayed firm and did not snack. I weighed myself this morning and I was 215 lbs on the dot. No matter where I went that is what it read. I was a bit upset but really my weight was all over the place yesterday, it was definite today.

I looked up how to weigh yourself properly and I actually found something!
-Make sure your floor is level..mine isnt so I am going to find a place that is level and mark it!
-make sure you weigh yourself same time, same clothes...blah blah everyone knows that
-make sure you use same scale and same place too
-weigh your self more than once in a week (3)and do an average of the 3 to find out what you lost...yeah...nope


So I researched best weight scale to own and it is the Taylor Electronic, but really anything digital should be good. You can test your own by putting a weight on it. Which I will do asap!

I spent most of the evening looking at other peoples blogs and wow there are alot out there. I then learned to narrow the search by clicking on key words that are on my profile page. Like weight loss. Everyone else who had that listed in their interest section showed up. So I trolled happily all evening.

I also figured out what my BMI is 35.2, and I am considered Obese class II. I should weigh 114 lbs to 155 lbs. and I found it here http://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html

I think I may make this blog about losing 100 lbs in one year. I averaged it out and its 8 lbs per month, two lbs per week. Hmmmm. Am I up for this challenge? I have to add something else. Something that deals with exercise. Hmmmm, total amount of steps per week, miles per week, something. I will have to research that a bit and see what would be logical.

***Ok lots of different answers for that one. Basically though it is 150 minutes a week, which breaks down to 30 minutes a day. Strength training is a lot less. Minimum is twice a week, does not specify amount of time, just that you should do it.

So officially in black and white, drum roll please!!

I am going to lose 100 lbs in one year

I am going to exercise every day for half an hour

It is official because I told my son! Well I told him and he said is this time for real? Yes it is. He thinks 100 is too much. Really he is right, so I may have to rethink the total. My young Yoda, said it is better to weigh more and be hard then thin and out of shape. Sigh, I sure do love him. I am going to ask him to take pics of me every month. Side, front and back and one face shot. I think seeing the results will help me. Oh ya I have to measure myself again. I did a year ago, but since I am restarting I better do it right.

I guess I am kind of cheating, since the end goal has to be reached by end of December 2013, and I am starting now.


Well F*&@ that, I am ready now. I am motivated now. Now is when I am starting!


Weird thought..
100 lbs in one year...365 days in one year
100 divided by 365 = .27 lbs a day
or
12 months in a year
100 divided by 12= 8.33 lbs
Hmmm since I weigh myself everyday, lets go for .27 lbs a day for awhile and see how that goes.