Now that is more like it! July 2, 2013 *184.6

I weighed in at 184.6 today, which is more realistic. Yes it is awesome to see a huge weight loss. But when you know its not real, you know the other shoe is gonna drop.

I am following my old diet, and its like coming home. Its funny how following a thought out plan, watching what you eat becomes so much easier. I go on to MyfitnessPal early in the morning, and plan out my food for the day. That way, when I get hungry the decisions already been made. I dont chose food when I am bored, angry, sad or hungry.

I find when I regulate what I am eating, it bleeds over to other parts of my life. I have more gumption to clean the house, or work in my gardens. I try to look at everything as an opportunity to exercise or get away from the fridge.

Another cool side effect, is that I actually don't feel as hungry. Or think about food as much. When I am not following my plan, I thing of food all day long. Seriously! What I want, how I want it, should I eat it, when I am going to eat it. On and on and on.

When I am on track, I ask myself are you really hungry right now? Or are you bored, or do you want to eat because you usually do when you see this person, or sit here, or ....

The word of the day is Organization February 1, 2013 9 197.2

I cant remember what started my search, but I ended up reading a few blogs on frugal living. I am as poor as a church moose, so I decided to take a quick gander. I found posts on nearly everything you can think of, and one that interested me the most was...laundry soap. I am going to make homemade laundry soap. I went out today and got the ingredients. I sure hope it works out.

My new motto

The other post I read up on was organizing. I am going to organize the sh&t out of my life/house. I am an organized person, but not in a structured way. Since my AHA moments from last week, I have been really looking into ways of organizing my life better. I am also a huge procrastinator, and there are nights that I cant sleep because I have panic attacks when I think of all the things I am not doing. I found another site that hit on what I was looking for.

You create an organization binder. You put in calls or appointments you need to make, when you work, your DIY projects, your garden plans,  your weekly/monthly meal plans (which I do already), cleaning schedule, to do lists, favorite recipes...

Stumbling onto my AHA! Moment. January 25, 2013 *198.8

I did a couple of new to me recipes yesterday. They worked out surprisingly well, considering I was making breadsticks out of a veggie!  I was all gung ho for trying out all the other ideas on cauliflower noodles, pizza, uh...nope. Going to stay away from that. I am not allergic to flour, I am just choosing to stay away from it. I have a life long love affair with cheese, that would not be helped by making all these gluten free recipes.

My calorie intake from all the cheese yesterday was shocking. Add the fat and the salt that is in the cheese I am surprised I stayed in my daily calorie allotment.

It was because of yesterday, that I stumbled on one of my stumbling blocks. I like routine. I like doing the same thing every day. If I am forced out of doing the exact same thing, I get anxious, or feel out of control. For example... I  eat the same breakfast every day. If I dont, I feel like I am missing something, or that my world is out of alignment. When all is not right with the world, what do I do? Thats right! I eat!

What?  Can it be that simple? I feel brilliant. It has taken the better part of my adult life to get here. I finally had my AHA! Moment.

What is funny though, is if I am not on a diet, I eat anything and everything with out feeling anxious! It is when I am on a diet, that I plan, plan, plan. If I step out of this plan, I feel like I walked outside naked. Seriously. So I eat to cover myself back up.

Yes yes, I knew I was an emotional eater, but it was just a word with no real context to me. I did not feel it. I feel it now. I know I eat if I am stressed out or sad or scared. But I did not know I ate to cover up being taken out of my comfort zone.Yesterday, I did not eat at my regular time, my regular food for breakfast or do my regular early morning house cleaning. I had a low to medium urge to eat all day. To snack, to nibble, to check what was in my fridge. Since I have been on my diet/new way of life/fixing me plan, I have not felt that urge.

I now realize why. I have been planning everything out. I have been writing things down (my blog), I have been sticking to the plans with out any deviations. I just trudge along, happy in my simple little life. It is when I take myself out of this that I fall flat, or fail. Hmmm, I am so smart!

Why not play to my strengths then? I like planning, sticking to the same routines. So that is what I am going to do. I realize I have been doing this all along in this new diet regime. That is why I feel so empowered, and that I feel like this time I am going to make it.