Disappeared for a bit

Well I disappeared for a bit, Depression sucks! I feel better, inside and out...so here I am.

I dont know where to start, other than, I gained 20lbs back. Damn it!

Good news though. I have been trying to get back on track for over a month, and I am finally in the groove. You know the one I am talking about. Where you see stuff you want to eat, but you dont. Where people offer you stuff to eat, and you dont. Where you go somewhere and they have heaven on a plate...thats right! You dont eat it.

Groovy!

I am not exercising yet, but I will soon.

I went up to 194 after Christmas, and gave myself a huge kick in the ass. After much struggling, I weighed in at 189 this morning.

Nice to be back.

Still trucking 186.

I have had the poops like crazy yesterday. I made donairs (yum), but I used Romain lettuce instead of pita. It was delish!! Only problem was I got the poops. Romain lettuce does it to me every time!

My system has gone haywire in the last couple of months. I have been plagued by headaches, dizzy spells, poops, nausea, cramps (major stomach pain), major blahs.

I have not been eating as I should, but not really bad.

I have gone on an elimination again to see what is affecting me. So far I have learned I have a latex fruit intolerance! That alone has changed my life. 

Latex fruit

Doing good! 186 lbs

So far so good. I have cut out all white stuff out of my diet again. No flour (especially wheat), sugar, processed foods whenever possible.

Climbing out of the dark 190 lbs

Starting to see the light again.

Now I have to repair the damage. I have gained back 20 lbs. Sheesh.

Here we go again.

UGH! Why?

Why?
Why?
I have gained some weight back again.

Do I stop caring what I eat when I am going through a depression, or am I depressed because I am gaining weight?

I think both are true for me.

I have been  having a hard time lately, so I turn to food. Which as we all know...sigh...why? Why do I do this to myself?