Why?!

Why do I do this?

I exercise and watch what I eat...then bam! Evening happens.

I have to think of a strategy that will help me with my evening loss of control. If I dont, I will never lose the last 20n lbs.

Frustrating

I have lost over 80 lbs. I have been walking every day for over 30 days now. Many times more than twice a day! My legs are getting harder, and I am walking at a much faster pace. Yeah me!

My scale still does not show much difference. I fluctuate around 173-175 lbs. Oh well. My clothes feel better.

I saw myself in a mirror yesterday. Ugh! I was sitting down, so all the rolls were rolling...

Though I feel better, look better...I still look overweight. My outsides do not match my insides.

I drink green smoothies, and walk everyday. I Dont drink pop, dont eat junk food. I dont eat anything white (sugar, flour, processed food), yet I still look fat.

I need to lose some more.

I did grrreat! August 7, 2013 *184.8

I was strict, and stayed on my diet yesterday. I have been trying to work on my wanting to eat at every break. I have also been planning around it. I bring my lunch to work, and eat it just before starting work. I used to eat it just before leaving for work, then eat again just before I started. So that cuts out some calories.

The countdown is on now. I have to lose close to 7 lbs before August 30! I have to be 180 lbs, but I am getting weighed with my clothes on. It is doable, since that is over 3 weeks from now.

Now that is more like it! July 2, 2013 *184.6

I weighed in at 184.6 today, which is more realistic. Yes it is awesome to see a huge weight loss. But when you know its not real, you know the other shoe is gonna drop.

I am following my old diet, and its like coming home. Its funny how following a thought out plan, watching what you eat becomes so much easier. I go on to MyfitnessPal early in the morning, and plan out my food for the day. That way, when I get hungry the decisions already been made. I dont chose food when I am bored, angry, sad or hungry.

I find when I regulate what I am eating, it bleeds over to other parts of my life. I have more gumption to clean the house, or work in my gardens. I try to look at everything as an opportunity to exercise or get away from the fridge.

Another cool side effect, is that I actually don't feel as hungry. Or think about food as much. When I am not following my plan, I thing of food all day long. Seriously! What I want, how I want it, should I eat it, when I am going to eat it. On and on and on.

When I am on track, I ask myself are you really hungry right now? Or are you bored, or do you want to eat because you usually do when you see this person, or sit here, or ....

Still going August 1, 2013 *181.

I weighed myself this morning, and it came up as 181.0 lbs. Sadly, I know this is wrong. I will still mark it, but I know I did not really lose 6 lbs in 3 days.  I am back on track, and the force is strong.

I had a breast reduction when I was in my early 20's, and I have been on a waiting list for almost 4 years to have another one. They warned me that I would need another one if I did it so young, but it was worth it. Now it is 20+ years later,  a kid and gaining and losing weight, things are not where they used to be.

To get the operation, you need to meet certain criteria. Lose weight, DUH, and maintain. You need to lose enough that your BMI is out of the Obese section. Check! I need to get to 175 by the end of August, so its looking gooood. Then I go on another waiting list for another year. Sigh,

I am 29.9 Finally just overweight!

Did good Jo July 30, 2013 *185.2 lbs

Did good today. Really worked on positive thoughts, and planning my food intake. Going through the headaches from carb withdrawl.

Not much energy, tired, depressed.

Sigh...I saw that coming December 20, 2012 *211.8

Yup, that is right! I weighed in at 211.8 lbs today. Why? I guess because life should not be easy. Mother F'er. Surprisingly I am not upset or discouraged. I am doing what I should be. I am following a good well balanced diet. I am not cheating in any way. I know that to the bottom of my heart. I am not second guessing myself, because I know there is nothing more I could have done. I am working extra hard at work, so that everything I do is an exercise.

I figure my body is just being an asshole, and wants to fight back. There is not much I can do about it really. What am I going to do? Stop? Give up? What happens then? I gain weight again, or I maintain. That is not an option, so I guess that means I just keep on going.

I am going to figure out what my weight loss per week.

***

Went for another walk outside. Things are melting so it hasn't been as cold as it was the last couple of days. Thats always a plus. I did a chart/list thingie that shows what I lost everyday (cuz yes I am that anal) and weekending too.

***

I went to my sisters to drop off  her Christmas present, and to pick up mine. She always has great food, and I made a promise to myself that I would not eat any. She gave me food for Christmas! My heart fell, and I said, Please tell me that is not a cheesecake in there! Nope, its not. It was full of Kirkland shrimps, sole, almonds and laughing cow cheese. It was the best Christmas present ever. It was good for me food!

***

I was right! Its comin'! I feel the cramps starting.