Friday, 7 December 2012

My name is Josee and I have a problem December 7, 2012

My name is Josee, and I have a problem. I wish it was that easy. I wish I could come on here and act like I was in some sort of AA group for Obese people. I wish I could spew all the garbage that was in my head and feel clean and relieved. I wish I could stay away from food like a drinker can booze when they quite drinking. I wish life was easier. I wish that I could exercise like I say I'm gonna. I wish I could stick things through. I wish I had more courage. I wish that I could think better of myself. I wish I could control my thoughts better. I wish I had clothes that fit. I wish I could look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. I wish I could even look in the mirror. I wish I had more money. I wish I had someone. I wish I could come back here on MFP and not feel like a looser. I wish I came back to MFP sooner. I wish I didnt feel so embarrassed about gaining some of my weight back. I wish I could go to a job that I liked. I wish I could have more energy and not be so God awful tired all the time. I wish I really had a best friend. I wish I didnt have to use MFP, cause it means Im still fat. I wish I wasnt fat. I wish my son was not embarrassed to be seen with me. I wish I wasnt so fucked up. I wish I didnt have to make hard decisions. I wish I  could pay all my bills. I wish I didnt feel like I am always falling down. I wish I didnt feel like an idiot all the time. I wish I didnt feel so lonely all the time. I wish I wasnt depressed. I wish I stopped doing bad things to myself.I wish I was someone else. I wish I knew what to do.

This was a post I did on my MFP blog. 

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