A Step back January 18, 2013 *201.6

One step forward...two steps back

Well I weighed in at 201.6 lbs today. I finally figured out why too. It was water weight I lost. I have not been drinking my water while Aunt Flo has been visiting. So really I did not make my 200 lbs goal yet. I will by the end of the week though. No worries (fingers and toes crossed).

I follow alot of different blogs and I read every single one. I have found out I am not alone in my struggle. I am not the only one out there who is lonely. I am not the only one has failed over and over again. I read about people who are interesting, who teach me things, who make me think about why I do things. For example; Diane from Fit to the Finish, wrote about stumbles on her post today Stumbles can really trip you up.  That really made me think. It is not a new concept, but  the topic came at the perfect time for me. I have always failed because I have always given up when I stumble. I cant continue to fail.

I have been stepping out of my comfort zone lately when it comes to my meals. I usually make the exact same breakfast every morning, and a small rotating group of meals for lunch and supper. I know what my danger foods are and I stay away from them with a religious zeal. I don't mind eating the same meals all the time at all. It makes me feel safe/secure and in control.

The last week or so, I have come to realize a couple of truths. So what is the truth? I know I will make it this time. I have the willpower to continue to the very end.  There is no end! I am changing my life. I have to make permanent changes. Can I realistically eat the same food for the rest of my life? Nope!!! Can I stay away from all my danger foods? Actually yes I think I can. So what is a happy medium? Try different foods, try different recipes that are not connected in my mind to eating while I am depressed.

My danger foods haunt me. Thankfully it is a very small list. My go to foods when I am depressed are not good for me mentally or physically. Pasta, like macaroni and tomatoes, K.D., or spaghetti. I have never been able to eat one serving of this. EVER! I actually don't have the same problem with rice noodles, go figure. Chips are the other danger food. I got through university by eating a large bag of BBQ Ruffle chips. Every single day. I actually gave those up a few years ago and have never had another one. Cereal. I could eat a box of cereal a day. Looking at this list objectively, I know I can stay away from these foods.

Back on topic...I have been trying different recipes, changing up my meals and I am controlling myself. I don't feel as in control, but I am having fun trying to find good food choices.

For example tonight I made Pizza. I made it out of Flat out Thin Crust Artisans Bread. 150 cals. Then the pizza sauce and  a serving of  skim Mozza with a serving of chicken bacon. It all came to 333 cals. I will have to work on making my own Pizza sauce though. The salt content in Catelli  was out of this world, (I now average 1500 mg or less everyday). My son loved it, which is a plus. I was going to take a picture, but I ate all before I got to it.

I also made my son some garlic bread, bad idea. I snacked on a bite here and there. Grrr.  I added some cheat calories to make sure that I was honest about what my count was for the day. I do not and will not lie about what I eat. That way leads to failure!!! Anyhoo...I went for a super brisk walk for 30 minutes to make up for the cheats. It was -17 with a -28 windchill. Brrrr.