Sunday, 20 January 2013

Sunshine and roses? January 20, 2013 199.8

I just finished reading Miscellaneous Mom,  she is a blogger lover like me. She talked about being a mom and how much work it is to be one. Her post made me think about my relationship with my son. You often hear the phrase I hope you get a kid just like you when you have children! Ugh! I kind of did (depression/social anxiety).

It has not all been sunshine and roses in our lives.  Whose really is?  I wanted to have lots of kids and I really regret that I did not have more. I wanted my son to not be alone in life like I was. Well I didn't have more kids and maybe God was making sure I got what I could handle. When J*** went through his rough patch, my every single thought was focused on him. I didn't have to think of balancing my life to make sure anyone else was ok. He needed me 24/7, so that is what he got. Period. J*** is  A Ok now. Hard work does pay off.

Looking back on my son's life (he is only 15 now), I realize all things considered I had it pretty easy. My husband (now my ex), never took an active part in his raising. If I needed to go to an evening class and he gave him his bath, I would come back to total mayhem. There would be bottles/towels/diapers/pj's/powder/water/supper...everywhere!

When I became single less than a year later it was a huge relief. I had less work to do and I am a VERY organized person. If I needed to take a shower, he took one too. If I wanted a long long bath he had one too. I just brought in all his bath toys and he got some fancy bubbles.  If I wanted to go to the movies...thats right we went to the movies and he had ear plugs. If I wanted to do something, I McGivered it until he could too.

We had a set schedule that we followed pretty religiously. We got up and went to bed around the same time. We had ONE bedroom, so that was a no brainer.  J*** got up at 5:15 am every single freakin day! No wonder we went to bed at the same time. Not anymore thank God! Toilet training...seriously...was totally weird. He was done before he was 2, and he only had one accident and that was my fault. He needed to go pee and I didnt get what he was trying to say. It was work, but he got it from the very beginning and I was just along for the ride.

J*** had one temper tantrum when he was younger. Wow it was a doozie. When I say no, it is NO. There is no back up in me. ( I have had to work on that, I am not so strict anymore) My response when ever he threw something in anger was "I will throw that out if you do it again." He knew I would because I have done it more than once! Well needless to say, by the end of the tantrum there was basically nothing left in his room. It was all outside in a snow drift. When it was done J*** had to get dressed (yup he threw his pj's too), and go get all his stuff. It didn't help that I laughed my way through it all.

He was a cuddly affectionate kid, until it was sooo not cool to hug and say I love you. He is over that now (only took 5 years), and I am getting great hugs and "I love ya mom," again. I am not raising a kid, I am raising a man.

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